The Return Of The Army Of Light – Excerpt – Inspired by Tom, Dick Or Harry

While at Prester Joe’s (same place as in The Varsity Drag) Hada tells Lucas the time Frances asked Gareth, Ulysses and Marc to dance with her at a university recital.

Every night for two and a half weeks they practised “Tom, Dick, or Harry” from Cole Porter’s “Kiss Me Kate” , the backstage musical about an ex husband and wife bickering throughout opening night of a musical adaptation of Shakespeare’s “The Taming of the Shrew” . The clever number has been a dancers’ favourite for years, lending itself for big acrobatic and fluid moves. Three young suitors court Bianca, Kate’s younger sister, who can’t make up her mind about the one she likes. Gareth took on Lucentio’s role; Ulysses and Marc were Gremio and Hortensio respectively.

Rehearsals were gruelling. Gareth, Ulysses and Marc were not great dancers but at least their youth, overall fitness and good coordination made their moves seem fluid; however, of the three Marc
was the better dancer. Frances’s own routine was not complicated at all; as Bianca she just had to sit and hear her suitors’ proposals.

The costumes consisted of colourful tights with little capes and matching hats; little was left to the imagination in terms of the guys’ endowments, though. Understandably, they loved the costumes; they could not wait to romp around the stage.

For some inexplicable reason, the day of the performance Gareth decided to introduce the boys to the wonders of a cock ring; he convinced Ulysses and Marc to use them so their bulges would look fuller.

“A what?” Ulysses confusedly asked.

“To put where?” Marc was also baffled.

“Have you ever used them?” Ulysses suspiciously asked.

“No, but it’ll be all right.” Gareth reassured him.

While they were naked in the dressing room, Gareth brought out three leather cock rings with metal snaps that he had bought at a store at the top of Cuba Street. They were not so sure how to use them, but the rings came with a drawing showing how to put them on, and so they wrapped them at the base of their cocks just like the diagram showed.

Here’s the thing with cock rings although they are design to be used comfortably without getting an erection, they need to be broken in, even more if they are made of leather with metal snaps.

As expected, as soon as they snapped them around the base of their cocks, they got erections, which worried Ulysses and Marc. Gareth told them that they would go down in time for the show. They put on their tights, and they were amazed on how full their bulges looked. Just as Gareth had promised the erections went down in time for their number, they only showed a bit of a lift in their crotches. What Gareth did not take into consideration was all the strain that jumping around would put on the rings and hence, on their crotches.

When a man uses a cock ring if he is not careful, pubic hair can get trapped between the metal snaps, which happened to the guys on this occasion. Just try to imagine, the more they moved, the more the rings pulled the pubic hair, the more the rings pulled their pubic hair, the more the guys tried to compensate with bigger moves, to alleviate their discomfort, the more engorged their cocks would get. As they kept dancing and jumping around the roughness of the leather began to rub against their skin, chaffing it and making it painful.

By the time the A Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick chorus came in, Gareth, Ulysses and Marc were fully aroused, and it showed. Frances did not know what was happening at first, but when she realised what was transpiring she had to fight hard to contain her laughter. There was a part when each one had to go off stage while the other did a 20- second solo- dance. Each one took turns going backstage to remove the cock rings, it was not easy, but they managed to take them off.

“Not sure if that was Cole’s intention when he wrote the song.” Hada said with a big laughter. “But I’m sure he’d be delighted with the story.”

From that moment on, the foursome was very tight. Frances used to say that she was able to give three gay men a boner at the same time. Gareth Ulysses and Marc would say that she had been the only woman able to give them an erection.